Confidence or Intimidation?

I don’t know how many times I have had people tell me after they get to know me, that they were intimidated by me. Why? Because I am a hard worker? I look like I have my life put together? I’m a great actress? I’m successful? I have made it on my own? I know how to do my job? Why are people intimidated by confidence? Because confidence is one of the hardest concepts to obtain. Why? People don’t put themselves in uncomfortable situations for a reason. However, to become confident, you have to put yourself in these situations to become comfortable. I have been a bedside nurse for 15 years! Are there days I don’t feel comfortable? Absolutely. However, these days, I invite the uncomfortable opportunities to become more successful. To gain more and more confidence. Here is a little secret. I didn’t pass my NCLEX the first time. Yes, super tragic. I felt like an instant failure. Did I show this? No. Deep down inside though I was thinking, “What a waste of time and money.” All of that schooling for nothing. What really lit a fire was this test determines if you are a nurse or not. It owned me. I think this is totally absurd. I rocked it during my preceptorship when I was a student nurse, but now I had to take a written test that defined me! Defined me as a failure. Why are we not tested on our clinical practice? Why are we not tested on our communication with patients and families? Our peers? Our nursing skills? I am not taking multiple written tests to determine my path in life. Oh wait! Yes I did. School tests, you know the one that you took every year and made you feel unworthy. They did to me. I am not book smart. I learn from life experiences. Standardized tests are a joke. Life situations thrown at you and how you react to them should be our determiner. How you treated people in conflicts or situations should determine our success. Would you pass? Or are you more comfortable with standardized tests? Don’t be a standard, be a positive trend setter with your interactions.

Nursing is the most trusted profession in the world. Why do people trust us? It comes along with the title. Nurture. Do you think patient’s would trust us if we were totally open with our lives and what we endure on a daily basis? No, we keep our drama, our anxiety, our depression, our fears, our lack of confidence hidden. Nurses are the most underpaid profession out there. I truly believe this. However, are we here for the money? Or, are we nurses because it fills our soul to help people? Would people do better at their jobs if we were offered more money? Good questions. The burnout for nurses is extremely high. Not only are we dealing with our daily lives, but we have the lives of others depending on us. We are strong individuals to take this all on. That is a confidence booster in itself. Am I hopeful nurses will be compensated more in the near future? Yes. Healthcare would be lost without nurses. We are the forefront of healthcare. We are the glue that keeps it all together. Hope this brings you confidence in your decision of being or becoming a nurse.

If people tell you that you are intimidating, that is on them, not you. Just chalk it up as being successful at what you do. I used to take intimidation as negativity. I would always ask myself, “Am I not nice enough? Am I not approachable?” I am both nice and approachable if I know you are here for the right reasons. Those reasons being you want to make a difference in someone’s life. And if that is intimidating for you, that is on you, not me. I would call it inspiration. People who intimidate me, inspire me. They inspire me to be better. The only thing that gets in your way, is fear. However, that is just a mindset. Don’t let fear intimidate you. Let it make you more confident. Mirror people who make you uncomfortable in a good way. Learn and mirror their success. How many doses does it take for confidence to build? You decide.