Being Selfish

I have been asked the main questions in life many times. Are you married? Do you have kids? Those are the main two. Why are those the main two that people automatically go too? Well, for one, they are great conversations starters, maybe. Depends on the marriage question. Two, everyone likes to talk about everything else, besides themselves. Why? We like to escape reality, our drama, our fears, our faults, our experiences. So, when I get asked these questions multiple times a day by patients or peers, it’s a pretty short conversation. However, I do answer, “I haven’t found the right person and kids were not for me during my life thus far, and I am selfish.” Sometimes the reaction I get is a grimace or I get, ” Good for you!” As I look back, kids were not considered to be a need in my life possibly due to the fact I didn’t have the right soul to share them with or I knew in the back of my mind, I was going to be going through a depression and anxiety roller coaster.

During the never ending roller coaster ride, I feel grateful I didn’t have someone else to take care of. It wouldn’t have been fair for them because there were times where I couldn’t even take care of myself. Just wasn’t in the cards for me. And that is ok. As I look back at it, would I change it? No. Because, now I am here, able to write and have my audience resonate with my life experiences and understand life throws you many unwanted experiences, but they are thrown at us for a reason. For every dark moment, there is light and life. We were just not taught to search for the light in these dark moments. We were taught to deal with it ourselves. We internalize things when we should be letting it out in the open. The more we internalize, the worse we become. Our thoughts race, we think of the worst case scenario. When my dark thoughts overcame me almost every day, I shut people out. I shut myself out. I turned to prescriptions and they made me feel better for the short term, but I knew the inner work needed to be done by not just taking a pill, but facing my fears and openly talking about why I was feeling this way. If you are not talking about it, there is no way out.

By changing your mindset, you will change every aspect in life. Your mind controls your physical being. What you imagine what you want to look like, your body will follow. Ok, Brooke, no way. Have you done the work to see if it occurs? In order to do this, you have to be grateful for every little thing that makes you happy, but you have to be grateful for the bad experiences as well, because those experiences are teaching you something. Find what they are teaching you, and you will become a better person not only for yourself, but for others. Be selfish. Now back to the questions I get asked. If I was where I am at today with my mindset, I probably would have had kids, I would have had found the right soul to share my life with because what you become, you attract. Do I have any regrets? None!

I read something the other day and here it goes, ” I’m not even the best me yet. ” By Stephanie Bennet Henry. I read this over and over again. I still have a journey ahead of me, but I know what it takes. Do you?

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