Rescue Your Feelings

Well, I had my six year anniversary with my counselor today. I thought it was five, one year got away from me. Six years! As I was sitting in my chair, I looked over at my file on her desk and I said, ” That’s a thick file.” She replied, “This is all of your hard work.” Always looking at the positive in life. Now, granted I have grown exponentially in this area, but when I compare myself to myself, I feel I can always be doing better. I am my own worst critic., my own worst enemy. My thoughts are the ones which put me down. I used to blame it on other people and thought they were talking shit about me, but now it’s just me. Because I don’t care what other people think. I have let that go. Took me six years, but I got there, and now I am here.

During our session today, we talked a lot about being alone. As I sit here and think, I have not been without a roommate since 2006. Yeah there may have been a month or two without one, but there has always been someone around until now. And let me tell you, I am lonely. However, this is the time where I grow in self love and confidence. I have to be okay with being alone. Yes, I am in a relationship, but we don’t live together. So on my days off, which are different from most of the world because I am in healthcare, we don’t work the typical Monday through Friday. Thank goodness! I couldn’t imagine working 5 days a week, but people tell me they couldn’t work 12.5 hours. It’s a toss up. I guess I don’t know any different because I have been working this schedule for 16 years!

So, I went part time thinking I am going to jump start my business and be able to do both. But, I haven’t jump started it YET. I opened the mind door to, “do I really want to do this?” “It feels like so much work.” I honestly don’t know where life is leading me YET. I keep pushing on the brakes with the new business adventure because maybe I’m scared, maybe I don’t think I will be good enough, maybe I just need to take this time and feel ok with being by myself and rescuing my feelings. I AM statements help. I picked up two transformational books today and they both read about I AM statements. I am going to be okay. I am good enough. I am stronger than what I think. I am going to succeed in whatever I do. But right now, I need to succeed in enjoying life, being okay with doing nothing. And, finding a hobby, because I don’t have one. This was one of my goals this week. I have felt that if I am not doing something constructive, I am failing. I am not. I am REBOOTING.

The negative things you tell yourself are from YOU. Someone could say something mean to you, but you get to interpret what they say in your head. You can change it around. Every conversation needs to start with good intentions. Only intend good for the other person you are communicating with. Don’t feed the bear. If the conversation is getting heated, it’s time for a time out until you set yourself up with assuming good intentions. again These are some of the teachings my counselor has taught me. Guess what, I am still learning.

So, as of right now, I have to accept that being alone is good. My Mom always said, “You are your own best friend.” So, why is it so hard to be nice to yourself? You expect your best friends to be nice to you. That’s why they are your best friends. Time to give yourself some grace and shine your own bright light with good thoughts and a positive mindset. Give yourself compliments. Give yourself the freedom to just be you and learn to live life intentionally, with purpose, and have fun. The last thing my counselor told me today, ” I am just glad that I get one more day.” Be grateful for the present moment. It’s all you have.