17 Years

This is my 17 year anniversary as a registered nurse. I am sitting here and reflecting on the last couple years and recognize how corrupt and problematic our system is. Now, I don’t want the intention set that I am complaining. I am simply stating what is actually happening in these corporations. What have I learned? Did I go into the right profession? Where do I go from here?

So, get this, I started this blog on August 13th! Why did I stop? I was starting to go down the negativity tunnel. I was going to rat on the corporations and how they make their insane amount of money and I shut my computer, I didn’t want to do that. Why? Because corporations are going to stay corporations. The key to working for a corporation is creating your own experience. If you start off your shift with negativity and the unwillingness to be there, you are setting yourself up for failure. Remember my post “the day follows your word.?” Things are going to fly at you which will be negative, however, merely think of them as tests. Level up and learn from them.

The other reason I wasn’t writing was I was so down on myself. I started my coaching practice and I am not advertising because I felt I need to work on myself some more. I wasn’t getting things done, I wasn’t reaching out to people, people weren’t getting back to me and I need to create a website, but it was so overwhelming, I just shut down. This is what fear and anxiety looks like. Anxiety is fear of the future. What if this doesn’t work out? What if I continue to work at the hospital longer? But, I don’t want to, because it goes against my values. Then I had to turn it around. Me being an awesome nurse doesn’t go against my values. I choose those values. I choose to be heard if I don’t like something. I create my present experience which creates my future.

Being overwhelmed. 99.5 percent of us suffer from this. If we knew the future does not exist and the past is the past, why are we stuffing our heads with so many thoughts which are not even real yet. The “what if” thought? Dumb. Why we think this way? It’s the way we were taught. Society and news. Mostly news, they are out there to scare us. They don’t want you to know what you are truly capable of, because then you know you are capable of being the change. I am forty years old and I feel stuck. I am feeling those feelings, I am owning them. Had a friend tell me the other day, you have been helping people for 17 years now, maybe it’s time for a rest. How ever long that may be. Let things flow to you. You are ready because you are constantly trying to find ways to better yourself. You are ready to coach, you are ready to be who you want to be. Your timing is right, stop looking at it, as it is wrong.

So, what did I do? I am working on ceasing the continuous thoughts and I am going with the flow. I cannot control the media, I cannot control the government (unless I became a politician), and I cannot control corporations. All I can control is my attitude, and how it affects me and most importantly others. I am in charge of myself and my personal growth. Let me tell you something, if you are not investing in yourself and you think just going to your friends works for your problems, think again. 99 percent of them have not done the work. They are going to agree with you even though you may be wrong because they don’t want to make you mad. Find the help, there is a lot going on out there. And the only way you can fight the external is working on the internal. 17 years-I am right where I need to be at this present moment in time. Thank you for reading. Go better yourselves, to better your surroundings.