My Worst Enemy

I need to start writing my blogs at night when my thoughts go wild, but I enjoy my sleep. Here it goes, something I remembered the day after and wrote it down. I was watching, “This Is Us,” the second time around because I stopped it after COVID hit and the show was throwing it in my face along with racism, pronouns gone wrong, and vaccines. It was then I realized how much TV influences us! It was crazy and since I was dealing with it at work, I couldn’t deal with it at home. Anyway, that was not what I was thinking the other night. I was thinking about when I pass on, where do I go? My spirit? Where does it go? I’m going to get a little sci-fi on you here. So, I asked myself, do I go back to a planet or a star? Do I have my own planet? I know, this is a little nuts, but hear/read me out. So, I die, and I go back to my planet and my mission was to find out the one thing I learned from planet Earth. What would be the one thing? I told Riley I couldn’t figure it out. Was it to be nicer, more kind, more compassionate? I feel like I have been doing a better job at that.

I feel like I have been grateful for everything that I have. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Nothing was sitting right. A couple days later, it came to me just out of the blue. The one thing I learned at this time; these last 41 years of moments was……I was my own worst enemy. I instantly wrote this down. This hit hard. The only person who has ever held me back was me. The only person who spoke ill of me was me. Now, I know people talk about me behind my back, but I am talking right in my face. All Me. So, I am on this different planet, and they also told me I was only gone for 5 minutes. Light years is what I am talking about here. Speed of sound. LOL. If I was only gone for 5 minutes, I wouldn’t take life so seriously. I mean my jaw would drop to know I was only gone for 5 minutes, but then I would just laugh. I cared about the stupidest things, and my main one was, I cared what other people thought of me. I should have gotten rid of people sooner when they didn’t show me their brightest light, including family.

I was my own worst enemy. Let that sink in Brooke. I had someone write on one of my advertisements for my book, that nurses don’t dispense, we administer. Pharmacy dispenses. That would have been a weird title for my book. Administering Pills, Popping Pills. I would have taken this so seriously and taken the book down, but then I realize people throw things at you and it is YOU on how you want to proceed. I could give a shit less if I have some grammatical errors in my book, or my title. The art of dispensing. It’s all on how you read it. People want to read the book and be negative, cool, go ahead. But they are missing the message. These are people who want to hate because that’s all they know. So, keep it coming because I no longer live to justify my writing. It’s my story, they are my words. They are my experiences, not yours. If I want to be critical of myself, I can do that all on my own. I can’t wait to see what planet I am on next. I just hope I can remember all I learned from this one.