Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?…Sure

I thought I did. Do I now? Yes, but in a different way. Well, how can you take this question and think differently now? Maybe, I was programmed to take this belief and automatically think when I would feel that love feeling, it would be the love of my life.

When I first saw the love of my life, I was blown away. Back story, here we come. I woke up one morning and this guy who I had been hanging out with lately asked me to go to Malta, Montana the night before. Usually, knowing myself, I was super hesitant. I had two guy roommates at the time and was asking, “should I go?” I feel I remember one saying, “Sure, why not?” That word, sure…. keeps showing up. I take the word sure and interpret it in a negative direction or sometimes a positive direction. Why sometimes as a positive indication? Who knows. Learned?

Well, I took it this time as a get up and drive to Malta. So I did. I had been there once before with another ex. It was fun at the time. Learned a lot from that relationship. Ok, driving to Malta because this guy asked me to was because, he was assisting in coaching with a girls basketball game and I had a feeling there was something more within my grasp. I texted him or called and told him I was on my way. “Ok.” I remember entering the gym unsure where to sit, who to look at, and just focused in on an empty seat. I watched the game, I have no idea any more who won the game. Does it matter? No.

At the end of the game, I stood up and looked behind me and what did I see? This guy with a cowboy hat on and probably one of the most beautiful souls I had ever seen. Instant attraction or love? So, the assistance coach and I went to a bar after the game and I was hoping the cowboy was there. We will call him Birk. I opened the door, and there he was! The coach introduced us because I believe I was already moving towards him. We were introduced and the first thing Birk said to me was, “I took Kindergarten twice.” I remember laughing and asking, “What?” He replied, “I have no idea why I said that.” I interpreted what he said, as being honest and him being vulnerable, which made me even more attracted, even though he probably thought he screwed up already. We talked the whole time and we had an amazing time.

The coach, Birk, and I went back to a hotel room. The weird thing was it was my ex’s mother’s motel when I was dating him a the time. So, we all three stayed in the room. No, nothing crazy happened!! The coach fell asleep, Birk and I talked all night and I remember putting my phone number in his phone.

The next day we all left and Birk told the coach, “We should all hang out tonight.” Birk and Coach were from Circle, so that was our next adventure. Of course, I went with Coach to his house and met his family. The phone kept ringing and his Mom kept saying it was Birk. Coach disregarded the phone and knew what Birk was up to. Didn’t matter to me, he had my cell phone number, however, there is no cell phone service in the great area of Circle, middle of nowhere.

I left the next morning and was so excited to see if Birk had left me a voicemail or a text. I think we had text at that time, maybe not, cannot remember. We will go with no text. Ok, I had service on the way home and no new voicemails. I was so hurt. I thought we had a connection, love at first sight, I just felt it. So, I was depressed for a few days, then I took action. I called the Coach and asked if he wanted to go out, and he said, “I am meeting my friends at BWW.” “Ok, I will be there.” He replied, “sure.” I didn’t care at the time what sure meant, I was going for it. I arrived at BWW and hung out with Coach. He was a few drinks in and I kept buying more and more drinks for him because I had a plan. He was drunk and my next move was to take his cellphone. Did it work? You bet. I was determined.

I found Birks number. Put it in my phone and went home. I called him right away and got his voicemail. I think I had to run up to the airport for some reason, came back and when I go home I had a missed call. I instantly called it back and reached voicemail again! I gave up! Next thing, in a couple moments, I received a call from him!

We talked and I could hear the excitement in his voice. I asked him, “Why didn’t you call me?” He said, “you must have put your number in wrong, I tried.” “Oh well, who cares.” Going forward we made a plan to meet in Miles City and I could not contain my excitement. Went to Miles City, no uncertainty there and had the best time in my life at that moment. I knew he was my soul mate. I was already making plans for the future. Guess what? You guessed it, it didn’t work out. I will let you in more about what happened and why it didn’t work out for another time.

He made me happy in a lot of moments. Within a year, I experienced his dark side and wanted out. I didn’t get out right away, a lot of factors and experiences occurred. It was a bumpy ride. Was it worth it? Yes. Because he made an impact on my life. So I ask you this, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

If you do not know. Look in the mirror and ask. What do you see? Do you love yourself at first sight? You can only love others, if you love yourself. Fact. So, now I do believe in love at first sight every morning. Yes. It starts with me and will start with you.

Birk passed away on April 1st a couple years ago. Cancer. Did I blame myself that I didn’t do good enough? Absolutely. Could I have changed the outcome? Sure. Actually, I have no clue if I could have changed it, it was out of my control. Now, I am just happy he was able to share his soul with mine, even if it were for a minute or longer. Time doesn’t matter. What matters is, how are you going to use this time? Better make sure you use it well, and help others while you are at it, it will make a difference, I can tell you that.