45= Mid-LiFe CriSis?

The average age of a human being is 80 years young. 45 is about the time frame one has or is encountering a “mid-life crisis.” Why is this saying an excuse? A crisis is defined as, “a crucial or decisive point or situation especially a difficult situation involving impending change.” Should swap out the word change and enter in “doom.” So, an individual makes a mistake, a decision, or an action which has a negative impact on others, and we can just chart it up as a “mid-life crisis?” Ummmm….No. You have been in crisis mode ever since the initial event or the initial force. You put yourself in a negative environment and you have been trying so hard to get out, but you can’t. Better get rid of the mid-life trump crisis card outing, it’s just our excuse.

My parents got a divorce after 30 years of marriage. I was 25 during that time. How did I respond? Not well. I blamed my Dad because I was taught. My Mom moved in with me after the, “crisis” and I didn’t communicate with my Dad’s side of the family for a decade. Let me tell you something very valuable. ALWAYS LISTEN TO BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY before reacting!!!! Took me ten years!!!! Long time. Feels like 5 minutes right now just thinking about it. However, for my Dad’s side of the family, I am getting the feeling it felt like an eternity. Ok, now it is hitting me because now I feel like it was an eternity because my brain was triggered by the previous sentence. Was I in crisis mode during that whole time? Yes.

I had many failed relationships including my friends, boyfriends, family (the ones I had at the time) roommates, co-workers, you name it. But guess what? I was the crisis, I failed myself. Nobody else. Just me. I only listened to one side. I blamed my crisis on everyone else. I focused on the negative, I lived in a dark cloud. Guess where it got me? Absolutely no where, just 10 years of shutting people out that loved me. Fun huh?

No…..detrimental to my physical well being and most important, my mental dark cloud judgement. If you are currently in crisis mode, you are always stressed, anxious, and questioning yourself or others’ motives. I urge you to get out of your head and really listen to your consciousness. Yes, they are separate from each other. It’s there for a reason, use it wisely and fully. It does not work if it is overloaded. Listen and experience both sides, before making a judgement call. Actually, don’t decide, do what is right in your heart, your consciousness, and for all parties involved, including yourself. Being selfish is not a bad thing when you are caught up in a communication dilemma. Take yourself out of the game, and be fair, true, and honest with YOURSELF. Then you can understand what others perceive, and how you will make peace with both sides even it it is hard. Meet people where THEY are at. Make peace with yourself.

I truly believe my parents were in crisis mode for the entire time they were married. We were taught back in the day to get married, have kids, buy a house, be successful, till death do us part. Strong words. How about, “till my crisis can no longer go on.” Part of my crisis ended 3 to 4 years ago. I reconnected with my family and guess what? I am truly at peace. I missed out on family deaths, celebrations, and important events. Can I change it? No. You have to move forward and change your thinking process.

Buying a new car at 45 is not defined as a “mid-life crisis.” It’s just an impulse reaction. That reaction may be your initiation of another crisis. Don’t have too many….abort, abort! What crises are you experiencing right now? Can you make the list smaller? Yes. They will keep popping up because you let them. Get to the root of the cause and kill that weed immediately. Don’t use Round Up. Heard it is bad for your health and it also doesn’t work half the time. Also, you are just Rounding Up for more crises. May want to think twice, OR read and compare products, before initiating.

45 is the number of points I scored in one basketball game. Was is a big deal? Yep, however, not for me. I could have cared less. It brought a lot of attention towards me. It was a crisis. I had no idea I had scored that number of points until I had to talk to the guy after the game announcing it on the radio. Did we win? Yes, but it was a team effort. They made me successful. Love positive teammates. They always have your back. Choose wisely.

Guess what? I just finished a book that had a character pertain mental health to Nurse Ratched because her Mom needed to stay in a mental facility. Coincidence? Maybe. I had no idea what the book was about, just picked it because I liked the cover. By the way, “The BeSt iS YeT to CoMe.”