I heard this saying, or read it, and it struck me because, it is so true and concrete. Concrete, when it dries, you are stuck. What you do, your actions, your words to others, reflects you. With all of my past relationships, I hurt people with my words, but I believed that it made the situation better because I knew it was right!! Was I? After I would say something, I felt constructive because I perceived it as being the right way, but then, I would second guess my tone, my decision, my vibe. Why? Because I knew deep down inside, something didn’t sit right. When you get this feeling, you second guess yourself. Correct? If you are thinking, “yes,” I am happy you think it. You are not guessing, you are “thoughting.” Not a word, but it works. Maybe, someday it will be. A guess is defined as: to assume, presume, or assert without sufficient information. It’s a prediction. So I say, “Stop second thoughting yourself.” You never want to be in a guessing war with yourself or close others. It creates a stress thought pattern. So….when you use your words, have the sufficient information before you react or attack. Yikes, strong word.
What don’t we know? One of my counselor’s concepts. Start using it. If you don’t know something about someone, ask them in a kind manner. It’s amazing the information you will obtain and gain with you kind gesture. If you are just trying to seek out information for your benefit, it won’t work. People sense it and become defensive. Try the conversation out with your animals before bringing it to the individual or individuals. Your pets have a great deep sense, and if they look uncomfortable, they are. Try different words or a different approach. I am looking at Roxy right now, she feels the calm, licking the rock floor on the patio. Must taste good.
Thoughting vs. Guessing. What a concept. My Mom is a great interior designer and she always second thoughts herself. Her contractor called her out on it because he knows she makes great decisions on designing. She has a third sense with design, it’s her forte. How many times have you second thought yourself, and it didn’t work? I have million or billions of times. It has created mistakes for me, friendship losses, and a second jab at the the NCLEX (woooweee). No one, wants to take that twice. So….first it. First yourself into the present moment, never looking back, or guessing the future. Let life come at you and you treat it with grace, dignity, and positivity. See where it gets you. The road less traveled by, is my thought, but hope for the road to be more traveled by. Up to you.
Brooke's Honest and Truth Blog, RN 
I’ve come to understand the world reacts based on the opinion of someone else’s approval. There are few that live their truth. They act in ways that best suits them, instead of pleasing those around them. I finished a book “I hate you, don’t leave me” Jerold J. Kreisman. I wanted to understand myself through my diagnosis of BPD. It’s interesting how many connections I have made. I believe there is hope that I can “cure” myself. It won’t be easy, it won’t be fast. But in time I will be able to think for myself. I will be able to find my truth. I will know what is best for me, without needing the approval of those around me.
In our recent conversations I have strived for your approval. I have beat myself up for “disappointing you” And your reaction stunned me. You were disappointed instead you offered yourself in others ways.
Most days I live in fear, second guessing every decision to please what someone else’s opinion feels is the right way. Being right, or being wrong is up to you. There are rules to rights and wrongs. But understanding yourself and trusting your first instinct is a natural response that has been lost by beliefs of a group of people following each other. Trust yourself, your first thought, and go with it.
LikeLike
Fear is only a mindset. If you lived life without fear, what would that look like?
LikeLike