You Cannot Choose your Family or CAN YOU?

Do you think we choose what family we are born into? Depends on your beliefs. What if we could? I am going to go there because it is more positive. I feel I was born into my family for a reason. Maybe….to help my own combat anxiety, combat previous experiences, combat their own fears. You create your own fear, which in turn, creates mental health complications. I wasn’t on any medications until my parents separated, and then for the last 14 years, I have trialed at least ten. Wowza. Guess what? I only take ones to sleep now! Can’t turn off this positive thinking machine! Nah, it’s anxiety still, but I am hopeful someday I can say I am prescription free! OK…parents getting separated. I instantly feared what people would think. That my family no longer had unity. It made me angry, however relieved for a hot minute, because the truth was out in the open. But, my anger got the best of me and created a decade of no communication for one side. I became more and more depressed as time went on. I always thought my family was going to be the one that stuck it out, could jump any hurdle. But it didn’t, and I am truly thankful now because I know everyone is right where they need to be. Not saying that their couldn’t be any improvements, but we have to live in the moment. I am in the right place, writing to you, informing you, everything is going to be okay.

Separation vs Unity. Were my parents always miserable? Absolutely not! We had a lot of good times. I was very fortunate. I had a good upbringing, I was supplied with everything I needed to become me. However, people grow apart, and they grow apart for a reason. Their soul is not fulfilled. If your soul and heart are not full, you are on an ongoing dead end street. Look up and read the sign!! Couples stay together for their kids. I feel this is the most detrimental mental hold on children. Kids know you are not happy, they feel your fear, your sadness, your energy! I felt both of my parents’ energy. Wasn’t sitting right. The only way forward to effectively care for others, is caring for yourself. “Yeah, ok Brooke, you have never been married, no kids, you have no idea what it is like.” Yep, you are right, I didn’t get married and I didn’t have kids, but guess what?! I was a kid, still am! This is what my counselor told me today. So, yes, I am aware of how it feels. I have experienced loss in more ways than one.

I have good relationships with my family. Could they be better? Absolutely. Everyone has faults. It can be a roller coaster at times, but I truly try to stay off the roller coaster, I get motion sickness. Energy sickness. I rather be in a place of peace, and if I don’t communicate with some of my family members, that’s ok. All I can do is make the effort, stay positive, and be hopeful for a more communicative event to take place in the future. What don’t we know?

My Mom asked me today, “What prompted your transformation?” Great question, Mom. Thanks for asking, however, I got a little uneasy because some of the searching started after the election and no one likes to talk politics. So, I told her, it was due to my previous co-worker. I had to take the negative energy from the work place and create a positive experience for my other peers, which is true. Then, I was like, you know what? “It truly took full force after the election.” Something wasn’t sitting right on either side. I feel politics never sit right with people, it’s a competition. I wanted out. I don’t do well with competing anymore. Only finding people’s happiness is my fight anymore, it is my purpose. Politics aside! We all want the greater good for humanity. At least, I hope we all do! If you do not, you need to go searching, not researching for what went wrong, but search for what is right. What is right for you?