Vacation Blues

So I am sitting outside in Hawaii, watching the ocean and I reminisce about how each time I go on vacation, I get depressed. How in the hell does one get depressed on vacation? I have really had to think about this. I have drawn a couple conclusions. One, my thoughts tell me I don’t have the money to live here. I look around and I instantly think I am not good enough due to money supply. Why is our thought process around money so much? We were brought up this way. It’s engrained into our brain. Not a way to live. Two, body shaming. Now, I am not saying I don’t have an in shape body. However, I am sitting up in my room looking out and I instantly start comparing myself to others. Once again, a learned habit. If I truly worked out all the time, I would get there. Do I? No. Our own thoughts are the worst. Where do these thoughts stem from? Oneself. Others may have an influence on us at times, but it is our own thoughts that trigger our depression. We don’t have the money, her body is better than mine, why can’t I be more toned like her? STOP THE MADNESS! I read the other day we look 20 percent better than what we give ourselves credit for. 20 percent! What are we seeing in the mirror that others do not see? Our demeaning thought process. Third, I think of all the things I need to get done at home and feel bad for being on vacation. Timing is everything, but is it? Maybe, I needed this vacation to hone in on my goals even further. Maybe, I needed to know what I can have if I put my goals into action. Glass half full.

How do we stop this madness? Well, we tell ourselves, we look great and we become in tune with our thoughts and throw away the ones that are negatively affecting us. Hard to do, but so worth it. This is long process to get over. Some days I feel I have total control, others, I just want to crawl up into the bed and forget about the day. ( I did this yesterday). If we do not love ourselves for who we are, either change it, or embrace and be grateful for the things you do have. Read positive affirmations. Back in the day, I felt like these were a hoax. I remember walking by them and telling them to F off. Woowee. Now, when people ask what I like, I instantly reply, “positive affirmations PLEASE!” I read them, and I instantly feel more calm, more collected. Now, I understand why people have them in their house. How many of you though out there who have them, truly read them, and know it is going to be ok? Be honest with yourself. Read them until you believe in them. You are reading them to yourself. YOU BOUGHT THEM! They are there to make you feel good about yourself. Trust the words. They were put there intentionally for you.

I have been afraid to fly for over 37 years. Giving myself one year because I don’t know if I flew or not. I faced my fear yesterday. I went on a helicopter ride and envisioned myself being in the helicopter that was in the movie, “Avatar.” I was so grateful for this opportunity by looking at in the positive realm. Felt like Avatar and a little like Jurassic Park. The reason we need to revert to thinking like children at times. The imagination can run wild when you imagine yourself in a beautiful world. This place was put here for us to enjoy. I really do try to think of each day as a new adventure. Others want you to succeed, they want you to be happy. Look at the people you surround yourself with, are they rooting for you? If they are, keep them around. They are your inner circle, they are your roots, and they are your guides to make you face your fears and overcome them. Look in the mirror and envision what you want to look like. Really hone in on it and start thinking positive. It is amazing what your body can do by simply thinking in a more positive away. It will conform to your thought process. Law of attraction. It’s real.