Relationships

Relationships are hard! I have been in a few….too many. Nah, I used to get be so hard on myself as to why my relationships didn’t work or when I broke up with someone, they just excelled thereafter. Why did they become more motivated after the relationship ended? It’s called being stuck and truly not being happy. Going through the motions, suppressing what you truly want to feel. Expectations! That is the main one right there. This last relationship, there were no expectations. I thought it was what I wanted. But, I kept feeling more and more alone. We decided together we were not a good fit for a romantic relationship, but we definitely hit the support and personal growth right out of the park. We both helped each other become a better version of ourselves. I was able to get off all of my day time medications, I bought a better house, I am now pursing a new business, and I remain positive in my every day life. I have him to be ever so grateful for.

We both won in this relationship I feel. We will remain friends for a very long time. It turned into a friendship and that is okay. I am nearing 40 and when I just typed that, I just got a little anxious. However, age is just a number. I do not feel close to 40, not even a little bit. I got anxious due to the vision in which I may never find what I am looking for. I have to let this go though. People cross your path for a reason either to make you stronger, teach you self empowerment, self confidence, or let you know what you don’t want. It can go both ways. If you truly struggle with self confidence, open your eyes to the possibility you might be in something you don’t want to be in. Now this may not be your significant other, it may be in other relationships, or it may be the relationship you have with yourself! Thoughts are defeating. I don’t look a certain way or that girl is more beautiful than I am. Whey do we compare ourselves to others?

We are not happy with us. Your other half may tell you over and over again you look phenomenal, but the only way those words get through is for those words to get through your own thinking, your own thoughts. People generally wake up and feel okay, it’s when your thought process kicks in and kicks your ass. You have to stop those thoughts right in the morning otherwise your day is screwed. “Brooke, it’s so hard to do this!” “YEAH, I KNOW!” It’s taking me almost 39 years! It’s doable though. I still go to counseling and I am running up on five years. Such hard work, but so worth it. You need someone to help you with this. Choose someone you trust and who is not going to cut you any slack. You own your actions and thoughts, no one else. Stay accountable for you, no one else. You have to grow and sometimes that growth happens when you are cut off from someone or something. Cut your losses now. Start your new adventure with like minded people. Cut the negative thoughts and if you do have them, follow them with a positive one.

I have a reflection hanging on my wall at my desk. “Be happy with what you have while working for what you want.” Helen Keller. If an opportunity arises for you and you are a little scared of it, it probably is the right one. We were not made to keep stagnant in the same every day life. We were made to learn, gain knowledge, and keep pursing our dreams. You are the driver. Drive without fear. Remember, fear, is just a thought!