Being Raw

Wrote this down the other day, “If you don’t become raw or real, how do you better yourself?” You don’t, you are stuck. If you don’t work on what your insecurities are, it’s a long a road ahead. Being back in the dating scene has brought up some past insecurities. Definitely the confidence one. This particular game in your head is tough! Because you automatically think they are not going to like you. It’s all in my head! I get anxious, scared, feel like I am not going to be able to keep a conversation going, and just plain nervous. Why don’t I think I am good enough? Great question! I probably instantly go to the past failures in all of my relationships, but here is the kicker, we all have had failed relationships. Whether they are friend or romantic relationships, we have all been there. This is what I need to keep telling myself. I am no different. There is no perfect relationship out there. Social media shows us otherwise.

A song keeps coming on in my car and it is saying if we all wrote how we really felt like on a poster board, and showed the world, how would that look? We would all resonate and probably be a little nicer to each other. This is why it is so important to talk about mental health. We have to communicate our fears in order for them to be lessened. Everyone has the fear of failure, but no one talks about it. I talk and write about it. Double duty! It’s the only way I can survive. I just started my wellness coaching business. Do I fear it won’t make it? Possibly. It’s new and fresh, not many people know about it or have any idea what it is. The only people who know about it are my pro bono clients from last year. I wrote a coming out post on facebook regarding the new adventure and I was scared shitless. Do I really know what I am doing? Yep, sure do. I will be making more of a difference than just passing out medications to help relieve anxiety and depression. I will be talking to others regarding their fears and failures. With my pro bono clients, guess what? I resonated with each and every single one of them. I sometimes thought I was talking to myself.

We truly all share the same fears, it’s the brave ones who talk about them. In order to move forward, you have to become real and raw. You have to do this in order to move on. If I hadn’t gone to counseling, oh man, I would be stuck. I still go and I have a coach. The more the better! Mental health is paramount for your physical health. If you are not healthy in the mind, how do you think your body is going to hold up? Digesting your feelings is detrimental. Instead of digesting, you should be expressing. Being vulnerable is the only way forward. Taking the shield down and expressing your true self. You will find others who are attracted to who you really are because you are putting yourself front and center. You are being real. If you can’t be real in the beginning, what is the point?

I was asked a question today. What do you enjoy doing? I had a super hard time answering this. Not good. I am going to chalk it up as I am going to find out soon because life looks different these days. It’s called transition. However, my answer was work was my hobby because I’m good at it. It’s true, but these last 2 years has taken it’s toll. If you don’t enjoy what you are doing with your work which is more than 50 percent of your life (sad, but true), change it. Find what brings you joy. Take chances. What you avoid, will chase you. I don’t like being chased, it’s scary, especially if you are stuck somewhere.