Divorcing Regrets

I feel these two words are intertwined. We regret quite frequently during relationships and when individuals get divorced, they regret the time spent with the person they are divorcing. However, through divorce and regrets you can shine a different light on it. You can now know what you don’t want or what you will “put up, ” with. So, should we be looking at divorce and regrets in a new light? A light which was shining so bright at us to change, but we were wearing blinders. We thought we could fix it, mend it, and be hopeful for the future. As I have not been married or have had kids, I may be a little behind on the logistics, but am I? Every past relationship you or I have been in, we chalk it up as a regret. I just didn’t have the paper documentation behind mine or kids.

Yes, I understand kids are a huge factor, more than I will ever know. However, kids are intuitive, they feel what you are feeling. They know if you are happy or sad. Their thoughts are a part of yours. They came from you didn’t they? The number one reason why people don’t get divorced is due to their kids. This is the number one answer I get when I ask why they stayed together for so long before they cut the tie. I applaud them, I really do, but I also wonder what they were missing out on by being in a relationship where no one is happy or winning? Obviously, I am no expert on relationships because I have not had a successful one either, but after all of the ones I have been through, my mind is becoming more and more clear in what I want. Those are not called regrets, those are called steps in the right direction. We may call them regrets, but let’s change that thinking going forward. If you are in a happy relationship now, how did you get there? If you are still in a not so wanted relationship, what is keeping you there? The ones that are stuck, you are in the fear of the unknown, and that is okay…..for now.

If you had one life to live which is what our thought process is, would you keep living the way you are now? Big question? What if in the near future, there may be a way out. Would you take it? Would you take the divorce to be by yourself and really figure out what you wanted. What if you could write down who your next partner would be like and you met that person after you had been ok with being yourself for a time. What is the time frame on that? And that is what scares people, the alone factor. What do you do during this time? You talk to a counselor or a coach and you set goals you want to create for yourself until you feel ok with being alone. Granted, I have only been alone for a short while if you look at the situation on the outside. However, I feel like I have been alone for a way longer time because I didn’t really connect fully on what we are supposed to connect to. Do I regret the last few relationships? Not at all. I became who I am now because of them and now I am true to myself which is creating new waves in my life and connecting me to what I am supposed to connect with.

I read this the other day and want to share it with you. ” You are never in a relationship with the “wrong” person, Whoever you are in a Relationship with right now is the exact right person, exactly matching your energy-state, and the lessons you have yet to learn. Love them or leave them, but don’t waste your energy thinking it’s the “wrong person.” By Frederick Dobson. As, I read over this multiple times, I thought back to my energy state with my relationships and I feel they pretty much matched my energy. They were not wrong for me due to the energy or vibe I was putting out. However, when I raised my energy level, they changed. I am not saying I regret them, I embrace them because not only did they teach me valuable lessons, they got me to where I am at now and I would never change my past. I believe your true soul mate is the one who matches your current energy. What kind of soul mate are you attracting and are they the right one for you in this present moment?