Declutter

This has been a word I have been using a lot lately. I am moving houses. Moving on to another new chapter and this is the most I have ever purged (in a good way). Even though I have become a little nauseated at times. Not due to the fact of my relationship, but due to the fact I am selling my house, which I thought was the one for me and I had that image in my head for the past five years, but now it’s not. The foundation was strong and the open area was ideal, but it is not ideal for what is to come. Now, I am planning for a future with more souls involved. I thought it was going to be hard to let go of my solitude, my independence, my journey. It’s a transition for sure there is a lot of “my” in the previous sentence. However, we are not supposed to lead this path alone. Humans are supposed to connect, they are vital to your living. Let me rephrase, positive humans are the only way forward.

So, I sold my house. Lots of mixed emotions going on currently. A sense of loss, change, and ultimately what I worked so hard for. I had the independent woman card going on for me. Well, come to find out, you can still be independent and still depend on others. This is a totally new concept for me. Yes, I have had previous relationships before, however, I still felt I was the one leading the way, taking the reins and figuring life out for both. It’s different now. It’s a team effort and now includes two young souls! Never saw this coming my way, not for a million miles. Things change when you meet someone on your level of frequency. It’s a whole new ball game. You want to better each other, not for the sake of yourself, but for the kids who are a part of your life. You want to teach them positivity, show them it’s ok to not get it the first time, and to have open communication. If I hadn’t had six years of counseling, there is no way in hell I would be able to comprehend what is happening right now.

Even though I am a little late to the game, it’s better late than never. People have been overly supportive in this new adventure and I am super grateful. I thought I was going to hear, “What are you doing Brooke? Never in a million years….” “Are you sure you are up for this?” Nothing but positivity has come my way. Or……I just tune out the negative people anymore. I had a situation come up where it cost me a lot emotionally and I wanted to be on the attack because I needed to feel the feels. I wanted to be angry, but instead I took it personally. It got me down. I wasn’t understanding what was happening and how someone could treat me so childishly. Then I just told myself, “not everyone is meant for you.” When you look up to people because of their success, truly LOOK. They may help others greatly because they are in tune with them. It’s their tribe. Not every tribe is your tribe. It is a hard lesson to learn because you start doubting yourself. You thought you would be a part of this movement. It cost me more anxiety and self doubt, and that is what you need to listen to. You need to listen to your intuition at all times. When things feel icky, tune the hell in. After letting go, I felt lighter, and that is the feeling I needed to know I made the right decision. Not everyone is going to be meant for you. Some are there to just teach you what you don’t want. Thank them for the lessons and be grateful for the opportunity because you are one step closer to knowing what you want and what you do not want.

I went to my physician the other day for my yearly check up. Not only am I decluttering my house, my relationships, but I am also decluttering the diagnoses given to me for the last ten years. I have been diagnosed with ADD, bipolar, depression, and anxiety. Guess what, we decluttered three out of four. We erased seventy five percent of the unclear diagnoses. How did I do it? I invested in myself, I did the hard work, I transformed. Trial and error. People can change and what it takes, is major life changing mental health help. Worth every penny and I will keep investing in myself forever because that is the only way forward not only for myself, but for my tribe. The key to true happiness is letting the right people close to your heart who want to love you back. Never ever let them go. Seek if you have not already found. Only took me 39 years. That is nothing if you know your life is infinite.