Jack’s Last Words

Now, I am not writing about Jack on Titanic however his words were also relevant. I’ll get to that later. This Jack was a patient I took care of recently and I tried my hardest to get him better. Not with meds, but with mindset. He was 83, former farmer so you know they don’t want to just be bed bound. So, when he told me what he did in his past, I thought I could get some motivation with him. Not the case. You know why? He knew his body, he was done, he was done fighting for his life. That is why we are here, is to fight for our lives. You think fight is a strong word, it is. But you have too, it’s the only way to get up and live each day. Each day we are bombarded by social media, relationship issues, family issues, work problems, the will to get out of bed. It’s our mental state in which we fight these hurdles. If you are healthy with your mind, you are 99 percent winning the hunger games. If your mind is telling you “you are not good enough, take more meds, take more vaccines, so much death is around me, I’m scared, I fear getting out because I care what people think of me, I don’t think I can do this.” That is just your mind, and also, the news. Shut off the news people, they are scaring you. They get paid to do this. Ninety nine percent of the news is to misinform you are scare you. Pick up a book that is positive and read it. You are the motivator of your own life and if you want to just keep taking pill after pill, this is your choice! If you don’t want to better yourself, stay where you are at. People don’t feel sorry for you, only you do. Other people have their own lives, let them live it. Stop trying to bring other people down just because you are miserable.

Ok, that rant is over, I think. Jack. As, I sat there and tried to get him to at least sit him on the side of the bed because once I thought I did that, there might be a little hope. He looked at me and said, “stop trying, I am dying, and it’s ok.” “I know myself, I lived a good life, it’s time. ” Well, this guy was still a full code and I was saying to myself, “Well if you want out of here peacefully, we have to change your code status.” He then looked at me and said, “Do you want some advice?” “Well, yeah, I would always love some advice.” This is where you are spiritually connected and Jack was wanting to tell me something because he knew I needed to hear the advice.

1. Live your dream- Hit me with a ton of bricks because I am forty years old and I still don’t know what I want. I know I want to keep helping people and waking people up from sleeping so long by watching the news and going about their day. Trusting pharmacy and taking more pills when actually all they need to do is find someone to talk to! Only way you are going to get better! FYI, you find someone to make you accountable. Active listening. Figuring out how to live life differently. So this struck me because I don’t have my goal yet. I have a bunch of different paths, but they are not connected yet. Which takes me to this…
2. Control the things you can, let go of the things you can’t-Woowee, this one is so hard for me. Growing up in a household where high expectations were there, this is so hard to succumb too. Now, I am not saying my parents did this wrong, this is how they were taught so until that emotional bond is broken and a new expectation is set, the high expectation is a family generation upbringing. This is what I am trying to break and this is so freaking hard to do. I can only control my mind and my goals I want for myself and I need to let the material, aka perfectionism crap to leave. So, this is ongoing advice I need to read every day. To be continued….
3. Be honest- I feel I have this down about 75 percent of the way. Didn’t use too. Do now. Karma is a bitch. I was talking bad about people, still do at times if I don’t agree with something but it’s not the extent in which it was, because I can’t control them just like I can’t control a herd of cats. You cannot control anyone, but yourself. I don’t necessarily talk bad about them, I just am not understanding their thought process. I don’t have too and I need to let it go. They will get there when they want to get there. See, letting things go…..
4. We make mistakes, it’s ok- We all do! Learn from them, and move on. If someone has wronged you, they did, let it go, thank them in your head and move on. Why we thank them, because they showed us that we need to move on! We are so caught up about what happened in the past and we can’t let it go!!! You cannot change the past, read that again. If you find a way do to it, please let me know. You would be a millionaire.

So Jack’s words, they hit home for me. Guess what he did, he died the next night. During the time where he said he was dying, I called the family and let them know he was done. They listened and I will ever be so grateful they listened and respected his wishes. The last thing he told me was, ” I am seeing flashes of light.” Glad it was light and not darkness. He must have lived right because his advice was what I needed to hear that day. I talked to the MD after talking to Jack and we made him to a DNR. He was ready. If I was awake back then like I am now, what more could I have done to help people get to the light easier. I can’t fix that though, because it is in the past. So, if you are sitting there feeling sorry for yourself because you have been so wronged by someone in the past, you are the one wronging yourself now because you are stuck. They have moved on, it is time for you to move on.

Jack’s last words in the water from the Titanic I think were, “I’ll never let go.” Maybe it was Rose. Either way, she let go. She may have the memory, but she let go. When will it be your time to let go?