Love vs. Acceptance

This week has been a weird energy week. Lots of ups and downs. 2-22-2022. They say their is an energy shift, well, I can feel it! This week brought up a lot of past memories, old habits, and an overall understanding as to what we are living for. My old habit of anxiety creeped up on me. I woke up after a great night out and felt secluded, alone, and questioning myself. I was questioning old habits. Am I good enough? Do I really think I have the self confidence that I thought I did? Why do I feel like I did 2 years ago? We really have to tap into what is going here. As I sure do write about honesty, I am going to be honest in I couldn’t get out of bed. It was a beautiful day out, the day before the storm. Of course, I blamed it on the barometric pressure. I had to have some reason to tell myself that it was ok to be paralyzed and not face the reality. But, what is reality?

Reality should not be hiding from the world. It should be accepting these feelings of uncertainty and reaching out if needed. Instead of staying in bed all day, I should have reached out to my tribe and asked, “Am I going to be okay?” Their instant reply would have been, “yes.” “Brooke, you got this.” Why do we need to hear it from someone else? Why can’t our own inner voice be good enough? I medicated myself because I just couldn’t face the fear of change. Fear is a bitch. I know I write a lot about fear and what it can do, but good grief, I couldn’t shake it off. I even felt like this after I went and worked out. I just couldn’t overcome it. And you know what? That is ok. It’s ok to take a day off from the outside to work on the inner self. It’s only 12 hours of your life. I don’t do math, so I will leave it up to you as to how many hours an average person has. 12 hours! Nada.

Love vs. acceptance. You cannot love someone or something if you don’t love yourself. Self love is self confidence. When people accept you for who you are, it is ultimately up to you to accept you. It is ultimately up to you to love yourself. And once you do, the sky is the limit. At 38 years old and probably have loved twice, you begin to question yourself if you are lovable. It depends on the frequency you are on. People are not attracted to others if they have a negative image about themselves. How do we build the self confidence? You have to let the anxiety of perfection dissipate. You have to let go about caring what other people think. You have to be ok to be alone. You are your own best friend. Even if you are in a relationship, it’s lonely if you can’t accept yourself for who you really are.

So, as I was lying in bed most of the day, I was scared. I had put my phone away and didn’t accept anyone that was reaching out. I needed the day to be scared, to be lonely, to not be confident. Because you know what? The next day was better. I felt like a new person. I had given the time for myself to feel what I needed to feel. Don’t think you have to be up all the time. It’s okay to feel the feels. The soul needs to replenish in order to serve. If you don’t replenish time to time, can you really be real and make time for others? Read that again. It’s okay to take a time out, in fact I encourage it.