How Much?!

As essentials are going up in price day by day, we are getting anxious, are we not? This is all I hear when I look on my phone, when I overhear conversations, when I fill up my car. I have made goals for myself this week. Stop looking at my phone! My goodness, the amount of time I look at it and it is all negative, I am feeling stuck! The outside world is weighing me down. Actually, that is just an excuse. When I struggled with anxiety (still do at times) and depression, I was making excuses to feel the awful feelings! Not saying, don’t feel them, but give yourself a time frame. Feel like shit for a little while and then look up and notice everything you do have going for you or could be coming your way. In this point in time is where everyone needs to stick together and help each other out. All people right now need a kind word or compliment to keep them going. I was walking on my way out of work yesterday and a doc who I never really talked too, opened his heart, his fears, his compassion fatigue. It is all upon us! How do we get through it? Day at a time. We were put here for a reason for this moment in time. To show and help others that it can be done. You chose to be here. Remember that.

What is the cost of not changing? Well, let me go back in time. I would have been sleeping in my bed to avoid the outside world. I would have been on my numerous medications, beating myself up in my own head. No one told me I was a bad person, that was my doing. It was my voice telling me I wanted to sleep away. What is your voice telling you? “Brooke, stay where you are at, it’s better this way.” No! That’s being conditioned by society throughout my life. If opportunities arise in which you may be interested in, go for them! Break the conditioning. Break the pattern. You are not here to live in patterns! Those are boring! “But, Brooke, I like being boring.” ” Less stress.” I’m not buying it. Because that was me a year ago, I was saying those things. I was living in boredom. Life is not going to happen to you unless you change. You gravitate towards like minded people. Who are those like minded people you are intertwined with right now? Take a step back and really ask yourself if this is who you want to be?

Let me tell you what the cost of changing is! Lots of self reflection, owning your own thoughts, fighting your inner voice, tuning out negative people. Folks, it gets lonely. In my counseling sessions, I always mention how lonely I am . Yes, I have people to talk too, but not many. Finding self love is sooooo hard. You can’t expect someone to like you if you don’t like yourself. It’s not attractive. Being on a frequency of positive thoughts, will bring you a whole new group of beings. You have to make the change for them to find you. But be prepared to be lonely for awhile. The popular saying, ” You are your own best friend.” My mom used to say this all the time, and I was like what the hell does that mean? I get it now. Thanks Mom! Yes, you can receive compliments from an outside voice, but it goes into your own brain and this is where you can believe them and know you are a good person, or question the outside person. You are actually questioning yourself, not the person who is complimenting you.

So, what is the cost of changing? It takes a lot of work mentally and physically. It’s not easy, it’s a process. When do you start this process? When you are questioning yourself as to why you are the way you are. If you are asking yourself, “Do I deserve more?” The answer to that question is always, “YES!” Seek help if needed. Go to someone you trust. Talk about your fears. Listen to your heart. Set high standards for yourself, you were meant to have them. Obtain them. Day at a time. When you are in doubt, look up, deep breath, and know this life was meant for you to live it, not fear it.